Contributed by Sol Ballard
I experienced a major breakthrough the weekend I spent getting my NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) Certification. I spent most of it eagerly writing down all the valuable knowledge that my trainer had to convey. When the trainer asked the audience an important question, something told me to stop writing and to listen.
He asked if anyone had ever held anger against some one. Hands shot up from around the room. The trainer called on the lady sitting next to me who had her raised her hand up with fervor and asked, “how long did it take you to let go of that anger?”
The lady stated it took her five years.
“You misunderstood the question, how long did it take you to release the anger?” the trainer asked again.
The lady looked confused and again replied, “five years,”
The trainer patiently rephrased the question, “from the moment you were angry to the next moment you were not angry, how long did it take?”
The lady finally understanding the point the trainer wanted to make replied, “instantly,”
“Ahh,” the trainer said, “so it took you five years to be ready to let go of that anger, once you were ready you released it instantly?”
I was flabbergasted as I processed one of the biggest personal growth lessons I had ever come across.
It was then that I realized that we carry emotional baggage by choice and that at any moment we have the power to instantly release our wounds. At one moment we could be suffering the worst pain and the next releasing it.
Sounds easier said than done, right?
Here’s the secret; being open to releasing the pain from the minute it is inflicted and preparing to release the negative emotions surrounding our wound.
The lady sitting next to me said it took her five years to release the anger she was holding towards someone else. In those five years she was a prisoner of her self-inflicted pain. Had she been open to releasing that pain from the moment she first felt angry and taken the steps to doing so, she may have experienced less resentment for a less amount of time. This would have freed more time for happiness.
How do you become open to releasing pain, you ask?
When a person or situation causes you grief, commit at that moment to forgiveness. Of course forgiveness doesn’t make a situation or thing admissible, but it does allow you to move on and that is what matters.
Then you prepare for healing by acknowledging your hurt feelings and accepting them but then decide with conviction that you are not going to dwell on them.
Find healthy ways to help you cope with your emotions. You can try, journaling, talking to friends, prayer, meditation, yoga, cardio, art, therapy, laughter, support groups, or nature. What matters most is that you keep moving forward.
Most important of all, have unwavering faith that you will get through the situation and that you will be stronger because of it.
Always seek happiness, you deserve it.
Image Source: flickr.com, Creative Commons License
Sol Ballard is an emotional baggage handler and happiness finder. After overcoming alcohol abuse and a self-destructive lifestyle, Sol dedicated her life to helping others learn how to liberate themselves from their emotional baggage and guiding them into living a fascinating life. Sol combines her Neuro-Linguistic Programming Practitioner background and spirituality teachings to provide a well-rounded approach to healing. Follow Sol on Instagram or connect with her at solballard.com.